Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize