I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I lost the right to judge tonight
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
