i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
