but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
