If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
someone owes me an orgasm
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
