I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
