No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
