Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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