i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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