Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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