you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
