so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
