I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
