I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
