bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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