i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize