We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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