Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
