But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
