I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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