Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
