dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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