She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
