'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize