The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
