Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize