Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize