We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize