I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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