I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
