I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
A+ Viking dick
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
