On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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