He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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