i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
This is classic penis vs brain.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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