never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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