i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
