So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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