She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
