Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
