I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
