Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
