My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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