What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
