We're facebook friends in real life
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
