even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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