You're my little dorito
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize