I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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