Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
handjob tips. give me some.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I need water and some morals
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
