Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
