I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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