We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
