The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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