So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
