Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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