I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
did i just pee glitter
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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