Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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