I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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