Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
