too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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