Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
