i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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