YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just googled if crying burns calories
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
